I haven’t wrote in awhile. Probably, because I really needed to do some soul searching. Like serious sh*ts, not some teen bullshit “who am I” or “what am I suppose to do with my.” craps.
Part of being on my late 20’s and getting close to 30 or at least in my experience. I began to figure out, I was wrong or more like I was so wrong being ”righteous.” As I get older, I began to see more grey areas. The idealist views that I expected from other people began to reflect my own faults that I have it within me.
Past weekend, it was my mom’s birthday. My bro and in sis law couldn’t make to visit us that weekend. So, it was just me, my mom, and Caleb decided to celebrate her birthday. We went to see a movie that she really wanted to watch and hanged in the highlands area and afterward, we grab some lunch. Overall, it was nice except that right before the movie about to start, I blew it because Caleb was running late and since he didn’t had his phone with him, I wasn’t sure if he will able to make it or not. I waited for five minutes after the movie start, and decided to return the ticket, thinking he will not able to make it. But after few mins later, i saw him running through the door, and he end up purchasing the ticket. Anyway, around lunch, he looked very upset and the fact I returned the ticket and didn’t even give the benefit of the doubts that he will make it. Later that evening, my mom confronted me about this and told me that i was really mean to him by doing this and I really need to learn to be more patience with people and be more understanding about their situation.
Lately, I have been catching up the so called famous “House” TV sitcom. I heard about it a lot from people in past and I did watched some episodes here and there. But lately, I have been trying to catching on all the previous seasons and episodes I had missed, starting from season 1. I gotta admit, the show has some true essence to it. I am not just talking about some dramatic cases that Dr. House deals with it. The more interesting part of this show is Dr. House himself. One of the episode, I was watching last night was about this 9 years old girl who has terminal cancer yet her character was so alive and she wanted to live every moments before she has to say farewell to this life. As usual, Dr. House has his own medical opinions about her bravery personality and that he tried to connect that it probably due to some sort of medical condition. At the end, when Dr. House truly discovered that the 9 years old girls have been living a lot more that Dr. House actually lived his life.
It got me into thinking, I have taken my life in so much granted. I hardly been content long enough to keep it in my life. As soon as I lose interest on something, I just discard them or treat it like some hold furniture that dust mites has been calling home for itself. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I have given plenty of opportunity and chances in my life, and I was the one who chose either to blew it off or just took it for granted.
Do I have regrets? Yes, I do. If i have the chance start over. I would. At least, I would have tired to start over my undergraduate because I did made some bad choices that it still hunts me today.
It has been common for me to bit*h about the things I don’t have yet I have a lot more than most people have in this planet.